feeling sad

I'm sitting here this morning very cranky. All I want to do is to crawl into bed and sleep. I realized that the only time I'm happy these days is when I'm alone! Which is not very often. It makes me cry to come to that realization. I don't want my child in my face 24/7. I can't handle it anymore. I never get a break from him(or the children I babysit) When he's at school I have a housefull. Once in the last 5 years I have been able to stay home ALONE with nobody to bug me. Its very hard to deal with. No family to help out. No wonder I'm tired all the time. By the time I get Austin in bed, asleep, and I get to relax and get some alone time, its 10 pm. Then I watch a show or two and then its midnight. Then I have to get ready for bed and acutally go to sleep...12:30-1.....Then up at 7.....6-7hours of sleep is NOT enough. No wonder I can't loose weight. I'm stressed, exhausted, and depresssed.